I arrive clean in body and mind, ready to sweat, to cleanse the body from residual toxins. It is different this time, I didn’t have months of the Dharma Mittra yoga diet to prep me, I live in DC which means I pick up on others energy, I deal with more relationship realities instead of being alone in a jungle, and I am working non-stop on creative endeavors and tasks that grandmother gave me on the last journey through the jungles. I am ready for the sweat lodge to prep my body one last time before beginning with Ayahuasca. I love sweat lodges and been partaking in the ritual cleanse since my first introduction, read Sweat of Benevolence for my experience, as this time was very similar. The power of praying in a circle with others as you endure excessive heat for hours is surprisingly refreshing, obtainable, and not as difficult because of the souls surrounding you in a mutual desire to cleanse the body and heart.
The next day I spend prepping for Grandmother and ceremony. This medicine is called Dragonfly medicine as while it was being created there were dragonflies everywhere gracing the presence of the medicine. An omen of the spirit of the animal in conjunction with the plant world and our human existence. I bow down to Grandmother and give her my respects during the first cup. Not even more than two minutes in I am feeling nausea as the thick brew permeates internally. I sit there and think, “Oh, I am going to get well really quickly.” The second cup is offered and I go up, offer prayers, drink, and in less than one minute I get well. A vision of the sun with rotating cross emanating from the center and my power animal of the evening, a lion, leads me into the deep subconscious. Following the lions tale, he says he is going to show me how to play as a lion does with his cubs. Physically I lay down and drift off into the journey. There are no words to really ever describe the experience with aya. There is an internal conversation, sometimes abandonment of words, body, ego, visions, or sometimes just deep rest. I felt her work on me on a physical level, a restructuring, healing process, with her gentle hands she moves energy on a subconscious level. The lessons come in a secret language her and I only speak. Every meeting with her is different than the last, but the lessons continue as if no time passed. Just like a familiar lover or a best friend you may never see for years but when you meet no time has passed picking right up where you left off. At one point I rise up with the direction of Grandmother, pick up the flute, and play a song for all those journeying and for myself. I send love and healing energy, inspiration, and hope the song gives support to the journeys of my family.
After hours that seem like minutes the sun is rising and my journey with ayahuasca is coming to an end. I am left hearing her gentle voice in my ear saying, “Pay attention to the subtle. You are re-awakening to the truth of how sensitive you really are, focus on the goals we set out before, and stay the course. You are a soft, magnetic, kind, humble, and simple. Stay true to your nature. CONTINUE THE WORK!” I humbly accept the duty to heal the world through plants and be the voice, speak the truth, speak MY truth since that is all I know in this lifetime.
The main part of any Ayahuasca experience is the integration. This takes place after the ceremony where the lessons must be put into action. Life unfolds in ways to give you opportunities to release attachments, move forward in great ways, and put into practice what you want out of life. I decided to do a card spread with the Earth Magic deck. The question, “How does the work happen in the upcoming months for me?” As I ask this question and shuffle the deck a card pops out on it’s own, which means this card is a supporting value for the spread. I chose not to look at it right away and then did the rest. It is such a beautiful spread, sweet, innocent, kind, humble, and gentle just like the current journey and true to my spirit.
The supporting card was none other than Dragonfly! This is truly a special gift to see this spread. The center card represents the question, seeing a rainbow let’s me know that after the rain, all the things I dealt with to get here is a underlining rainbow of blessings and abundance in the work I am doing. The card Dawn is the subconscious factors that I am not aware of effecting the question. Seeing new beginnings means to me that there are many new things starting in the work that I am not aware of and truly feel this energy from the ceremony. A new set of relationships are forming with people I already know and new people 🙂 The childhood card is external factors that I know are playing a part on my work. I feel this way all the time and really decided to bring my old child like nature into the work I do. I always love writing in journals, making art, and creating fun play time with people. This is like following the Lion’s tale into the play den. That memory etched in mind I flow into work with a certain joy, innocence, and play that I love to share with the world. The River card is showing what is needed for resolution. A river flows gentle but with a certain movement, playing it’s part as it trickles down to the grandmother ocean. Here I am learning that I do not need to worry about boundaries created because I flow through them, around them, and into them. The final card is the outcome of doing the work. A meadow is appearing a sense of vulnerability, being out in the open to explore 360 views around me. This idea that I share the truth doing this work, exposing myself to the criticism of the world. This does not mean criticism is bad, only a fact. I see being creative and sharing my soul as definitely a vulnerable position that I am ready to share. I am ready to share my story. All of this with the support of the Dragonfly. The dragonfly emerges from its nymph stage as a full adult Dragonfly sharing it’s colors with the world. It does not focus on growing but on being, on sharing truth!
I fly into the truth and spread my colorful wings for all to see exposing my vulnerability so that others can come join me in expression.
Poem from the Dragonfly
Brings visions of power,
No need to prove it.
Now is the hour!
Know it, believe it,
Great Spirit intercedes,
Feeding you, blessing you,
Filling all your needs.