Mother Earth Speaks – Waters

Mother Earth Speaks – Waters

The waters are the main focal point since the beginning of my flight into Bogotá. I flew over and saw the beautiful mountains but wonder where all the water is? I step off the plane and the first thing my friend asks me for is a part of the water I carry to combine with other sacred waters from around the world. Next we arrive to the Lagoon Madre Cambia to bless the waters there, I ask for permission to be on the land, and share my humble, simple plan to spend my time in Colombia with no intention other than to observe.

During a Kogi song and prayer I vision appeared. I could see and feel the trickle of two small streams of water from the top of Mother mountain coming down under the growth of humanity into the lagoon. When I shared this meditation with my friend, he mentioned that is how the Lagoon is sourced from the Mother and Father mountain in the area.

 

Here is the video of the music I meditated to:

Crying a greater part of the way to Playa Blanca, Colombia was unexpected. Watching as I pass miles upon miles of beautiful ocean inaccessible from the road because there are miles upon miles of concrete creating walls that no one can go around, not even rain water. Diversion of rivers, pollution of the water and in some cases there is concrete just for the sake of there being concrete. Here I am paying money to be transported on a bus that is guzzling resources and emitting tons of gas to get to a local beach that everyone can go to, however, the beach is beside me along the road yet I nor anyone in the local community has any access. The waters of the mountains and the rains are not able to get to the beach due to the blockades of concrete. I can feel the destruction of the cycles and reflect on how this is common around the world. Of course the beach on Playa Blanca is beautiful even as I watch every one cram themselves into the ½ mile portion of beach that is open to the public. The process to get there was an hour long, hot, dry and ironic scene with people drinking bottles on bottles of plastic filled with soda rather than water.

 

In stark contrast, I now sit atop the Sierra’s and I see the flow of the water in the river cascading down the beautiful mountaintops with non-exclusive access to the purity of the water. There are decided places where water is diverted by small pipes to lead to homes, where they allow the water to run freely into a concrete pool allowing any overflow to feed the gardens, which are providing food. While this seems to be the perfect condition I still see the plastic and the trash though, it may not be as much as most places it is still there. I see the lack of compostable toilets and wonder where the shit is going after it begins its flow down the bucket flush toilets. I see the water run off the dishes and clothes that are being washed, but what type of soap are they using, are they taking note of what they are releasing? Even in pristine areas where they continue to close off from the outside world to prevent the abuse of Mother Earth it seems to be in its own way still contaminated by abuse.

 

I think abuse to the earth is inevitable at this moment as many people abuse themselves. It is fucking hard. It is not pretty and easy to overcome. It is so hard to learn to break the abuse cycle. I know, I lived it, and I live it. It is one of the hardest things I have ever worked on in my life. There is so much pain and abuse it can be overwhelming. There really appears to be no end in sight, but I am here to tell you that there is always an end that starts with a new beginning. Each step we take.

 

I am saying nothing new and that is part of the reason why I do not even want to speak most of the time because no one is listening. I only know how to live this existence at the moment and work on continuing breaking the cycles of abuse. Are you coming with me? Are you ready? Are you ready to let go of your comforts and be even more comfortable in life than you can imagine?

 

I know it is hard to be happy all the time. It is weird to not feel as though you need to worry about the next day, the future, where money is coming from, where food is coming from. I know it is strange to really be in control of your day-to-day life. It takes so much work, time and effort. People ask me what I do for work and I tell them I live, because it is a full time job when you do it right. I couldn’t ask for a better job. This work doesn’t feel like work, it feels like heaven on earth. I can feel my heart continuing to open each and every day. I can feel worries fall away, and I can feel abundance in every moment. The gift of life is truly more important than anything I could ever imagine. To really live this understanding is different than to know. Knowing it is surface level and can lead to lack of real movement and depression. I have been there too and sometimes wallow there in that space of hopelessness. Understanding the gift makes it easy to shed abuse, love myself, and love the people around me in all of our faults and follies.

 

Message from Mother Earth:

 

I love you all. I love every part of you. Love me back and spend your days in my arms as I shower you with abundance. Destroy the concrete you have put over me, the hard edges you have created and allow my waters, which are my emotions to run freely back to the sources. Allow my waters to bathe you in beauty and release your abuses. Stop abusing me so you can live without abuse. Let me create the hard layers you walk upon. Of course you can use my resources to create beautiful structures and live within, but let them be ones that crumble back into my existence when you are gone. Let me show you the abundance and love you as creatures walking upon my back deserve.

 

Don’t you know I can devour all your trash and everything you created in less than an instant? My heart is made of fire and lava that can melt anything you have created. My waters, representing my emotions, can surge to a point of rage where I can reclaim everything you created and wash it out to sea. I can recycle the gifts you use to create the world into a new precious metal. I can devour you whole. Why not live in harmony with me so you can prosper and your children’s children can prosper? Choose the opportunity to harness the powers I yield by creating harmonious structures and life.

 

Heal the abuse created by “THEY”. Wake up and realize YOU are THEY! There is no person in power who has control over your life and your resources. Only you have the power! There is no fucking “THEY” there is no “I”! There are no corporations, politicians, and people with all the money. “THEY” are an illusion a source you give away your power, so you can live in continued abuse because it is so much easier to push the responsibility on someone else. It is so much easier to be a victim and to be abused than to stand up and take back your power and take back your heart and live each day according to your purpose. That is hard. And your purpose is not to accomplish anything. Your purpose is to live in harmony and love yourself. Wow! That is a fucking tough job. Let go of all the illusions do not allow yourself to become the victim.

 

Life happens, so there will be pain only because so many people believe in this disillusioned paradigm. Let it go and step into the shade of my trees and watch as a family of trees sway peacefully in the wind. Living for such a long time tapping into the resources deep into my earth. Changing the hard matter into fruit for those to eat and for medicines for you to use. Notice as they take the minerals from the earth and the air and transmute them into usable materials.

 

What do you transmute? How is your body creating harmony on the planet? Learn this and you can understand how to live in harmony with yourself and others and the planet.

 

 

 

Raw Exposure

Raw Exposure

Movement, flying free, arms wild and in the air.

Wings expand in perfect symmetry catching the dance of equilibrium.

Stomping the feet, vibrations rise

A current of electricity reaching towards the heavens

This is why one flies free

Beauty within being exposed for all to see

Many believe the wanderer goes far to seek to find something

Searching is not the purpose

LIVING IS THE REASON

 

Giving oneself over to the infinite possibilities

Limitless boundaries

Breaking over invisible lines

Allowing oneself to be true north

Motion creates art of expressions

Forces the brain and heart to reconcile

Deepens internal understanding and practice

Sharing the way to live in this world without rules

Rules that are made up by society

Rules that do not follow the code of compassion

Unconditional love without limits

Letting go of the fear and falling into the abyss of joy

There is no end to the path of light

Live within the void of the golden light

For…

“When you were born you cried,

and the world rejoiced.

Live your life so that when you die

The world cries and you rejoice”

The Edge

The Edge

A path emerges,

deep jungle.

step by step.

Each rock fallen into perfect space.

Flowers bloom with the scent of

danger, love, delicate promises, on the tip of their lips.

Trickling water laps over the stones;

as hard surfaces give way to smoothness

The Sun’s rays split emerald canopies, offering rainbows in water drops.

Down this path…

Wounds, sorrow, and guilt,

shed as the beauty and harmony of mother earth demands your agony abandoned at her doorstep.

Heavy baggage burns in the fire of purification.

A scorching flame found within the heart.

Blazing naked, one arrives to the edge.

Gazing out into passionate expansiveness, a point of suspension.

The limitless feeling, the void, and adrenaline all mingled into an expression of

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

WHAT IF ‘I’ DOES NOT EXIST?

 

Mt. Shasta — Halloween Style

Mt. Shasta — Halloween Style

Star Date 1.28.4.13 Kin 210

 

White Lunar Dog
I polarize in order to love
Stabilizing loyalty
I seal the process of heart
With the lunar tone of challenge
I am guided by the power of spirit
I am a galactic activation portal enter me

 

The road to this trailhead is windy, narrow, unpaved, bumpy, and full of pines and stars. The scent is overwhelming peaceful, as I am crammed in the back seat with César as we slowly creep closer to Clear Creek trailhead. Thinking about the energy for the day, a White Dog GAP day, and how I am a White Self-Existing dog. I feel a deep love for my dear friend, spiritual brother, and an innate loyalty our soul contract requires. We are embarking upon a challenge guided by spirit set by an intention I made many years ago when I discovered Mt. Shasta existed, to climb up there, spend a night or two, and meditate for hours with the spirit of the mountain. My intention is similar to César’s, whose goal is to hike to the summit of the mountain.

 
Ali and Michelle drop us off at 21:27 at the Clear Creek trailhead. We prep our gear, fill out forms, and grab poop bags! WHAT?! I must be crazy. I am about to start a hike in the evening through woods I never seen before, with animals, and no way to use a bathroom except on a piece of paper with a target and bag to put human waste in. I pray I do not need to use the bathroom but at the same time I feel excitement for the journey. We start the hike at 21:35, an ascent from below the tree line to above the tree line is the goal before midnight. Headlamp leads the way as we wind through the dark tree line. Looking up to see the stars during occasional breaks. I see the moon hidden amongst the tree line, low in the sky, large, warm yellow orange peak through tree line at times as we twist and turn through the tall pine forest. The moon is in Gemini on the eastern horizon. While in the western horizon Vega is bright in the sky and is a constant companion as we hike in the dark, leading the way towards Mt. Shasta’s peak.

 
22:11 – We are at a clearing and the waning gibbous moon is higher in the sky with Orion chasing after the moon. Vega still sits above the top of Mt. Shasta and we almost don’t need a headlamp to light the path. Shasta’s snowy peak gleams and beams in the night sky and only if my camera could capture the beauty, the stillness, the peace.

 
23:15 – A slow ascent but we are at a full clearing and Vega begins to set beyond the peak of Shasta. I see a red shooting star beam into the mountain and feel a sense of accomplishment for taking on an adventure outside of my comfort zone, but something I’ve always dreamed about. I recall a friend who I associate shooting stars with and know that he is right there with me at that moment experiencing the epic night sky through my senses and is guiding me on the path with love. The idea of being on this mountain so high up watching the sky rotate as we revolve around the Earth’s axis brings an eternal smile to my face. I know that when I am older and smile lines are etched in my skin this is one of the experiences that helped mark me with the beauty of that wrinkle. What more is there to life?

 
Star Date 1.28.4.14 Kin 211

 

Blue Electric Monkey
I activate in order to play
Bonding illusion
I seal the process of magic
With the electric tone of service
I am guided by the power of vision
I am a galactic activation portal enter me

 

00:00 – Happy Halloween! We are above the tree line and hear the babbling creek, which means there is water and we are close to where we should camp for the evening. The moon is high in the sky and lights our way as we abandoned the headlamp for the moon an hour ago. On the left of the trail appears to be the perfect spot to camp, soft, not too many rocks, some small bushes to block part of the wind. We collect water from the stream and set up camp. I purposefully make sure the tent doors are facing the East and West. East towards the mountain range horizon where the continuous stars emerges from the other side of the world. The west contains the peak of Mt. Shasta, which I stare at before going to sleep in awe at the beauty of the snow-covered peak reflecting the brightness of the moon.

 
05:00 – Alarm goes off. The sun is still asleep lighting the other part of the world, but Venus, Jupiter, and Mars look so beautiful in the sky in Virgo. Almost in a straight line in the sky and I honor Venus and the planets and stars as I step out into the cold morning air. The moon illuminates but not so much that I can’t see the stars. Orion is still in the sky following the moon closer to the peak of Mt. Shasta and it is one of the most beautiful sights in my life. The early morning sky with Venus my lover up high in the east, what more is there to life? Seriously? I fall back to sleep and dream prophetic visions of which are too hard to explain.

 
06:55 – I open the tent door and the colors are magnificent. A yellow, orange hue of early first sunrise. The planets are still out to play. César preps and leaves for his ascent higher as I keep the tent door open after walking around some to watch the sun rise with protection from the cold and wind. Sun gazing is always amazing but on this mountain with the peak of Mt. Shasta behind me and the mountain ranges in front of me….the first rays of the sun comes over the mountains. I have seen some beautiful sunrises before but this one is definitely in the top 5. This is why I came here; to see the stars, to see the sunrise, to feel the mountain energy as I sleep under peak, to feel the vibrations and sound of the mountain, to see the patterns unknown to my eyes while I stare at the sun restructuring and it strengthens my eyes. The dreams are so intense on the mountain; old lovers, friends, and people I never met before visit me. We frolic on adventures and rejoice in peace and love. I stay awake until 8am forgetting today is a Rainbow Meditation day and yet I some how feel a surge of energy as I am in deep meditation around this time. Eventually I fall back into a state of visions and dreams.

Sunrise in Mt. Shasta

 

 

Mt. Shasta Sunrise

10:00 – I emerge from the tent finally and the moon is still out. I watch it set beyond the peak in less than 3 min. I look around my surroundings; the full day sun is much different than the night, early morning, and sunrise. There is a rock, which I thought at one point in the night, was a bear, I yelled at it in the evening, but seeing it as a large rock now I laugh at myself and think this is where I am spending my day. Perched on the rock to stretch, lay out my crystals for charging, write poetry, meditate, and lay out and slab. Slab is a term I use for laying on rocks which capture the sun’s heat and transfer the warmth into my body. Therefore, I am smack in the middle of warmth from the sun and the rock. It works quite nicely all over the world in many locations.

Halloween Shasta

Tigeress Selfie
11:00 – I sit here and write after a short yoga session on the massive rock, which obviously fell down from the peak. Crystals charge facing the peak, I listen to the sounds of the mountain; the wind, comes into my ears and tells me the secrets of the mountain, the water cascades down small bubbling creek in the distance, the tress below are rustling to one another with the wind, and the sun beams down as clouds pass through the mountain range. I spend hours staring up at the clouds that are above me and look down at the clouds that are below me. There are patterns in the clouds, there are patterns I see in my eyes but I am unsure how to explain their shapes and morphing. The clouds give away to images of unicorns, dolphins, and other mystical creatures. I think about César and what the view must look like from higher up the mountain, in moments I am transported to his eyes, a bird’s eye view above the clouds, atop different peaks of 360-degree views of mountains. I feel as though I am a space holder as he traverses above the clouds into 14,000ft. of lofty existence. I can feel the Earth pulsating beneath me and my body captures the lessons where my intelligent mind is unable to grasp the subtleties of sacred matter. Who wants the mind to cloud the pureness of nature? The body, spirit, and soul have a higher understanding of things unseen. All I know…this is the life as a pray for the return of my brother in one piece.

Laying in Shasta Cloud Watching
3:15 – César comes back into camp and is freezing, I drape him in his sleeping bag, offer warm tea, delicious snack, and warm blanket. He looks as if he has seen the unseen. His eyes are wide, hands are cold, hair is in all directions, and he is alive! He discusses his epic climb to the summit, above the clouds he stared at them for what seemed like hours. The same clouds I saw below he saw above and we share images, thoughts, and exasperated exclamations of how it is all so unexplainable. On his descent he fell multiple times, became lost, and wandered around the mountain hoping just hoping he could find camp. Luckily he embarked upon a large stone with an arrow we had seen the night before and back tracked, more like re-climbed the mountain again to return home. I am so happy he made it safely because I began to get nervous about his return, praying for him to be safe, and felt him searching, but as any older brother/sister I gave him a little smart-ass remarks on his return and said he has no right to complain since this is the journey he chose. He made it back just in time for him to warm up some, eat a snack, pack up and make it down in time to meet our ride. As there is no cell service and these things must be planned and committed to before departing the presence of those who are helping. The descent down is quick and painless. My focus is getting us to warmth especially after César hiked in a guayabera, a Cuban button down shirt and a small pull over Tibetan hoodie and rain jacket; basically not enough gear to actually stay warm 14,000 ft. Also hunger takes over as coconut strips and little bit of water was all there was to feed me. In the moment and reflection I am nothing more than grateful for his fearlessness to climb to the summit, to have the opportunity to support his quest by holding space energetically, physically, and in prayer, spend time in communion with Mt. Shasta, and the chance to experience the summit through his eyes. Each day since then is constant integration and understanding images I saw, vibrations I experienced, and the union of the stars/planets as they play on my life.

Cesar and I

 

 

All warm and no longer on the mountain

All warm and no longer on the mountain

Futility

Futility

thoth7swords

 

Futility (n): pointlessness, hopelessness, or uselessness

 

Yes. I feel all these things I say as I look up the definition. I just pulled the Seven of Swords in the Thoth Tarot Deck by Aleister Crowley. Sometimes I pull cards to just have my current emotions confirmed. I feel that is all the cards do, show you in physical manifestation what you are already feeling or focusing on. Ahhhh, damn cards know I am feeling hopeless, maybe I should have done things differently, but there is a silver lining in questioning yourself, sitting in meditation, and observing all of this emotion. The silver lining is knowing that you can always start from your current state onto the path you choose at this moment in reflection. You can always shift.  I stare at the sword in the middle and think, Oh shit! All the others swords are pointing at the central sword. What does this mean?

 

“The Seven of Swords is that state of mind, which produces futility, or the sense of helplessness, hopelessness, or “what’s the use?” Basically, this state of mind is knowing mentally what you want, which is represented by the central sword, and then telling yourself all the reasons why it’s not going to work, which is represented by the six swords coming in at the central sword. This is negative thinking, or the sabotaging mind, that sabotages what it is that you really want. It’s the yes-but tape in the mind, telling yourself the reasons why things won’t work.

 

The Seven of Swords is Sun and Moon in Aquarius. The two wavy lines at the bottom of the card are associated with Aquarius. The circle with the dot I the middle is the sign of the Sun, and the crescent moon symbolizes the Moon. Six ways that we sabotage what we want are revealed by the astrological symbols on the handles of the swords. The negative aspect of Saturn, or the yes-but aspect of Saturn, is telling ourselves that there is too much red tape or too many details. The other handle of the sword has the symbol of Mercury, the planet of communication on it. The negative self-talk of Mercury, negative communication to the self, is using such words as “I can’t…if only…someday I’ll…wish I’d a…,” all negative communication to the self about why this project or situation won’t work. On the other handle of the sword is Jupiter; Jupiter is the planet of flexibility and expansion. The negative self-talk of Jupiter is that, “I am not lucky….it’s too constricted, too limiting.” On the other handle of the sword is Mars; the positive aspect of mars is energy, vitality, and assertion. The negative self-talk of Mars would be, ‘I don’t have enough energy….I’m exhausted, burned out….it’s dull, boring.” On the other handle of the sword is the sign of Venus, which is associated with love. The negative self-talk of Venus is, “I really don’t care…it doesn’t mean anything to me anyway,” is the sabotaging component of Venus. The final handle of the sword has double loops on it, which is associated with the Sun and the Moon. The negative aspects of the Sun and the Moon is that consciously and subconsciously you sabotage yourself out of doing what it is that you want to do.

 

The sabotaging mind or the yes-but tape will generate the experience of futility, or what’s the use, or helplessness, and hopelessness. Basically, it’s important to remember that the Seven of Swords represents the mind that knows what it wants, which is symbolized by the central sword, and the other six swords represent the yes-but tape in the mind, or ways of telling ourselves all the reasons why things are not going to work.

 

When you pull this card, it indicates that in the next seven weeks or the next seven months you are no long willing to sabotage what it is that you want. The number 7 is associated with the Chariot, which is the generator and motivator of change, and 7 is the number of movement, so somehow, in the next seven weeks or next seven months, you are wanting to move through negative thinking in the mind that sabotages what it is that you want. Also, during the next seven weeks or seven months there would be an opportunity to release sabotaging patterns that have surfaced either in the last seven months, or sabotaging patterns that go back to seven years ago, or sabotaging patterns that may have been implemented when you were seven years old. It might be interesting to see which of your parents had a tendency to sabotage what he or she wanted through negative thinking, because somehow, in the seven weeks or the next seven months, you are no longer willing to be the lineage bearer or the legacy bearer of family futility patterns or sabotaging patterns held in the mind“ (The Tarot Handbook by Angeles Arrien).”

 

Wow! This is my life to a T at the moment. How many years have I lived in this yes-but paradigm, all the while manifesting dreams but in some way limiting them with this self-sabotaging voice of fear in the back of my mind? I am in this transition from leaving the previous life I knew, working 7-5 and then working every moment after that on my own personal business, education, and the practices that enliven my soul and heart. Thinking that somehow I could do it all, be the conventional person and live my true path in the world. There were so many points where I thought, there is way too much to do to really be able to exist this way, maybe one day I will travel the world, what makes me so special that I can live the dream life, this existence can be so draining but I must push through, and most importantly in love thinking I am okay without anyone to support and be my partner in life. Don’t we all have these points where we self-sabotage our dreams?!

 

Recently, I decided I no longer live the life where I say, yes-but..Instead I live..yes-and… (Thanks Ally for that twist on words). I am going through a point in life where I am setting boundaries, re-defining relationships within friendships, love, business, myself, and family. Yes family! I love how this card says that I am not willing able to be the lineage bearer of the family legacy. I am coming to terms that for me to move forward in life I must burn through the karmic patterns of my family, shed this “conventional” way of existence in the world. I am realizing limitations of my parents and how that has reflected in my life, especially in love.

 

In the next seven weeks I am embarking upon a personal journey through the rainforests of Peru. A journey I have been looking forward to since 2008, which happens to be almost 7 years ago. There are so many negative events that happened a full 7 years ago, when I was seven, and even seven months ago that I am ready to shed. This is always my journey, to shed the pain, heartache, negativity, and move forward to be the best version of myself. Be a person who can share their gifts to the world and flourish in full abundance of my passions. For me, this is always what I wanted as a little girl in my bedroom reading book after book, imagining traveling the world, bringing joy to those in pain/depression, keeping innocence alive while standing tall in the harsh realities of the world. Everything, I mean EVERYTHING,  I have done up to this point, gone through, all the pain, all the loneliness, walking this path with true gratitude for my guides and support, is to share with the world how to heal, regain our innocence (beginners mind), take care of our bodies/mind/heart/soul, and foster beauty/freedom/community in the world. I am now at the point where there is no turning back, my seven year old self is back and claimed my life back. Therefore, all the negativity and blocks must leave.

 

This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.

 

Every day, every day, every day, every way,
Gonna let my little light shine.
Light that shines is the light of love,
Hides the darkness from above,
Shines on me and it shines on you,
Shows you what the power of love can do.
Shine my light both bright and clear,
Shine my light both far and near,
In every dark corner that I find,
Let my little light shine.
 

This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.
 

Monday gave me the gift of love,
Tuesday peace came from above,
Wednesday told me to have more faith,
Thursday gave me a little more grace,
Friday told me to watch and pray,
Saturday told me just what to say,
Sunday gave me the power divine,
Just to let my little light shine.
 

This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.
 

Shine, shine, shine, shine, shine.

 

~April~

 

Draft

Draft

Past life, this life, the lives.

Present is the past incarnated in the future.

Future is the present incarnated in the past.

Past is the future incarnated in the present.

Now. Then. When.

Karma ebbs and flows.

Move with the tide.

Synchronistic ride.

More than fate or destiny.

~April Rameé

 

This poem is inspired by the Goddess card I pulled this morning, Isis. Isis represents past lives according to the card deck. I find it interesting as I journey to NY to practice with Dharma Mittra to reflect upon my life. I think life is a great remembering of the past and who I am. There are moments along the path that I consider a great awakening to the true nature within myself. These past parts of who I was that create who I am. These future ideals that shape the present moment of what I choose and who I become.

 

This is a draft. I am sure there is more to add at a later date.

 

 

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