Worthy of Love
WORTHY OF LOVE
Late night in my room with candles lit I set the evening tone I have grown familiar with recently, a sort of serenade to my soul. I stare at the candles and choose a card from a deck I was recently gifted serendipitously. This deck is focused on love, a word and concept I am not truly focused on bringing into my life at the moment, however, I am forever a romantic and optimistic on all things love so I am diving into the deck with an open mind.
I sit now choosing a new card from this deck and receive Worthiness. The card is asking me to remember that I am worthy of love. What an interesting concept that I think I understand, but do I really? I am not 100% sure I know what this means. I get it intellectually, but in my body, heart and mind do I feel worthy?
Memories of pain, trauma, shame, hurt, FEAR, and lack of worthiness play out in my mind. I don’t know if I am actually worthy, however it makes sense in my mind. YES! I AM worthy of Love. We are all worthy of love. It seems to me to be an inalienable right…right?
Worthiness Card
Since the card was pulled three days ago it permeates my thoughts at all times, every day I wonder …am I treating myself as someone worthy of love? Am I allowing love to come in my direction? Am I releasing the fear of traumatic experiences holding me back from love? Am I allowing myself to be open to love? Am I allowing the trauma and shame put on me from others stopping me from being myself? Am I whole? Am I giving MYSELF the love I deserve? Who needs love? What is my definition of love?
Most of the time I feel worthy. However, I feel shame and fear from past traumas. I carry these wounds gaping deep within my spirit that are not mended. Creating a cesspool of uncovered rotting potential of vitality. Wasted away in fear, shame, and blame.
In my dream that night I pulled the card comes a sign from the plant world. I dream of Echinacea, a plant I do not use very often because it is really more for intense blood and lymphatic conditions. It is over harvested and on the US Plant Savers at-risk list since 2014 because so many people think of it is an Immune stimulating herb only. While it does this, it is not for the little cough that people most of the time take it for, it is for deep sickness and to cleanse the blood and lymphatic system of toxins and purifying these tissues.
Echinacea growing in my yard
In my dream as I pick the plant, I hear the running sound of a deer in the woods. I turn around to stare at the deer. I notice it coming towards me at full speed with the head tilt down and antlers poised ready to ram my body and send me flying into the air, but at the last minute the antlers form around me, enveloping me into the sweetest embrace. The fear of being rammed by an animal at full speed is replaced with devotion. As if the animal is calling my soul to return to my true nature with the support of the herb. This is not any animal but the Deer, one of my spirit guides and one of the animals responsible for the name of the company, Antler Alchemy.
As if having this memorable experience in the dream was not enough, I receive a message from my friend the next day asking me to put Echinacea into a salve formula we are perfecting. This herb has been known since the Natives taught Europeans how to use it as a wound healer as well.
While this plant is not the first one I would turn to for a lesson on the heart, it is a plant to remind one how to be whole. It is for those who feel shattered by severe trauma in their lives. They may allow the energy of this trauma to be the main focus of their life, unable to move out of the space of putrid rotting in the spirit. There is a sense of learning how to forgive ourselves and others to remove stagnation within the self and spirit. There could be a sense of feeling alienated and unable to connect to the inner strength and peace. This plant is able to bring about resilience.
I find this to be a message not only for myself but also for the world. We can dwell on the traumatic experiences happening everywhere all the time or we can turn to the support of the plants to work their healing magic. This can bring us back to our inalienable rights to be a part of the community of the Earth as whole human beings, to tend to the world with reverence, and remember WE ARE WORTHY OF THE LOVE that the Earth has bestowed upon each and EVERY ONE OF US.
How do you find yourself worthy of love? Feel free to share with me!