by April Rameé | Dec 29, 2017 | Antler Alchemy, Herbs, Love, Plants
The adventure of life takes me on so many twists and turns, dips and rises. I turn 34 today in quite an uneventful way, which after many of years being alive with eventful birthdays, that could be a positive (so my dad says). However, I rarely do anything uneventful. In the spirit of my birthday, I share some raw feels in my soul today and the herbs assisting my healing as I look forward to the New Year.
A dear soul I met in Oregon told me once, “Write your life like it is a story and you are a character.” What would I say? I am unsure, as I write this from a free-write process and my story telling through writing is still new. Let’s see where this story goes…
Poetically gleaming out into the world, her eyes are wide as a deer taking in all the beautiful sights and amazing people. The world seems to be a prosperous, joyous place of those who want to be happy. However, mistakes are always made and she feels the weight of mistake after mistake piling upon her heart. The joy is starting to fade and the world seems dim. She looks around and wonders why so many people are here to only gain something, achieve some goal, and look out for their best interest. She wonders…how is she thinking only about herself? Can she reflect a different truth in her work and daily life? She calls her father and mother for advice, because they taught her how to be a woman in this world. Her father says that she is too trusting and even her mother echoes this same sentiment to her, “Why do you trust people so easily? Why do you give away so much of yourself without anyone proving they deserve what you have to offer?”
She doesn’t know why. WHY? Why does her heart urn to be trusting? Why does her heart urn to be surrounded by genuine, trustworthy people, but seems to find those who realize they can take advantage of her?
Rather than stay in a victim mode, she focuses on why she attracts such energy. Where does she hold herself a victim? Where does she hold a sense of lack of self worth? What can she do as a person believing in honesty, trust, and kindness to attract the same beings who genuinely posses these qualities?
FORGIVENESS
She starts to forgive herself for all the mistakes, the people she allowed to come in and control her life. She forgives herself for not being able to hold her boundaries as the fences come tumbling down when the hearts and desires of others bulldoze through. She forgives herself for breaking down her boundaries as this causes pain for those she loves and most importantly herself. She forgives herself that sometimes she is unable to be mean and say no. She forgives herself when she is mean and says no. She forgives herself for wanting life a specific way. She forgives herself for being focused and determined She forgives herself that she ALLOWS herself to feel guilty when others attack her for standing her ground or owning something she worked hard for. She forgives herself for being mean when she finally reinstates a boundary. She forgives herself for taking advantage of others in situations. She forgives herself for selfish behaviors. She forgives herself for not always seeing those who are supporting her. She forgives and forgives because she realizes to attract those who are like her she must forgive herself for forgetting to give herself the love she deserves on the most subtle, unconscious levels.
She realizes that she doesn’t have to forgive those harming her, she only must forgive herself because let’s face it…that is where the anger and hurt comes from. It comes from disappointing herself because she could be better, stronger, bitchier, and sturdier in her boundaries. Her fence could be a fortress and the people that deserve to be there will see there is a door to knock on gently, consistently, and with gratitude for her existence. While those who do not deserve to be inside see only a cold hard exterior, to their detriment because they are unable to see a door of kindness.
Wow! I don’t know what type of story that is, but I am going to be raw here and not edit. I write this to share authentically where I am in the world, I am not down and I am not up. I am here, present in the current moment with joy for being in this body. Understanding there is a purpose to all that happens, to learn, to lean in deep and see the true self. No one is perfect, I am not an angel and I am sure I have hurt others. I am reaping the consequences that come from my actions. They are not bad and not good, it is just what it is, a lesson to help me create vitality in my life. Seems as though the purpose is to wake me up to the joy of life! The interesting thing about it all is I think we could all benefit from some more forgiveness of ourselves.
Thank goddess for the plants that support me! My current go to tea is doing wonders for my heart, processing, and forgiving myself. This is the best birthday gift I could give myself today. Drinking good tea, taking a sweet bath, and honor the divine within myself. 34 years alive feels raw, beautiful, prosperous, magical, and forgiving.
Photo of Tea Honeysuckle (top left), Hawthorn Leaf & Flower (top right) Linden Leaf & Flower (bottom)
Herbs in my current tea: honeysuckle, hawthorn leaf & flower, and linden leaf & flower. I added some extra honeysuckle flower essence my girlfriend gifted me to the tea as well.
Honeysuckle is that sweet bushy plant you might walk by in the summertime and as a kid picked the ends of the flower to extract the tiny drop of honey it provides. This herb is great for respiratory problems and has a calming effect on the nervous system. The flower essence is great for those who are glorifying the past; find it hard to move on over the loss of a loved one, particularly if they are elderly. Good for those who get stuck in regretful feelings about the past, about missed opportunities or unhappy occurrences or about growing old. Honeysuckle helps bring people in the present and let go of the past, or bring it into perspective so that they can benefit from lessons learned from experience.
Hawthorn Leaf and Flower is a well-known heart tonic that is wonderful for high blood pressure, pain in the heart area, and other heart conditions. The flowers and leaves have a relaxant effect to relieve stress and anxiety, inducing sleep in insomniacs. Emotionally hawthorn is to work on the heart chakra, opens the heart to both receiving and giving love, and healing broken hearts.
Linden Leaf and Flower is relaxing remedy when taken as a tea to relieve tension, anxiety, aids in sleep, great for conditions associated with tension including headaches, irritability, and depression. It is another plant associated with the heart for high blood pressure and relaxing the coronary arteries, easing palpitations. Emotionally the plant is closely related with healing matters of the heart and is a symbol of sweetness, peace, and happiness. Increases awareness of our connectedness.
**Herbal info. shorts are modified and restated from the wonderful Anne McIntyre**
by April Rameé | Dec 19, 2017 | Antler Alchemy
Tis the season for Reflection.
I find this time of the year for me to be extremely reflective as I gear up for my birthday on December 29th. I am not sure if you feel this way, but maybe some do, the past couple of months have been quite intense, spiritually, emotionally, physically, and in all ways. I personally have been in reflection since the beginning of November preparing like one of my spirit animals, the bear, to hibernate and I am reminded of my dream of the bear swallowing me whole and the attributes of bear medicine.
Bear is known as an herbalist, believe it or not, since many native cultures studied the bear and watched how they use herbs to heal themselves. Therefore, bear is focused on dreams, the energy of the west, the introspection period of reflection on the year, ending of cycles, and good ‘ole hibernation.
The past three months found me in Southern Oregon harnessing the energy of the west coast as the bears creep quietly throughout the landscape preparing for the coming hibernation. Digging up hidden roots in my soul for exposure, food, and digesting over the winter months. An herb that is close to my heart that can be found in the west is Osha Root (Ligusticum porteri) also known as Bear Root or Chuchupate (an ancient term in Aztec meaning Bear Medicine) in Mexico. This plant is grown in the Rocky Mountains from Canada to Mexico above 7,000ft and is very treasured, as it can’t be domesticated easily and loves the wild. Just as my heart urns for the wild life, having this plant as an ally brings me closer to the wild every time I use it. I have had the pleasure of using it on West rounds in some sweat lodges. I have had elders give it in root form to chew on or burned on the stones to open the lungs and make it easier to breathe in the sweat.
Osha root is a wonderful remedy for the lungs, respiratory conditions, flu, sore throat, and illness’s stemming from sinuses. Seems to be perfect for this time of year as winter creeps around the corner and brings flu’s, bronchitis, pneumonia, and strep throat. I personally always have an affinity for diseases that stem from respiratory conditions and sore throats; this is one of my favorite herbs for combating these illnesses.
Another reflection of the Bear and this time of year, is the darkest night of the year is upon us on the Northern Hemisphere. This day is called winter solstice. From December 22nd on the light increases each day preparing for spring, which is when the bear re-enters the world after hibernating in the den, giving birth to young, and preparing them for the next season. Just as during this time I go within to give birth to new projects for the next year.
by April Rameé | Oct 21, 2017 | Antler Alchemy, Mother Earth, Mystical, Sacred Space
Gratitude is my attitude.
At this moment in life the weather is changing and metamorphosis is happening all around us. The trees, plants, water, and the earth echo the changes that happen within our hearts. Letting go, allowing the death to creep in through dormancy into the heart of the mother earth. Returning to the deep soil for reflection and preparing for winter to take us into the time of slow movement, rest, creativity, and focus inward.
As life shifts all around us and many demanding thoughts come in from the media bombarding our sense of peace and connection to what matters, I only know how to bow in gratitude for being surrounded by those such as you who make my life better every day.
In this moment I only have gratitude for every day that I arise on this earth to live my passion. It was not always this way for me, and I remember writing the poem below in 2012 during a time when I was ready to make the ever-pressing change the earth and my heart desired. After two years of healing and education in herbal medicine with plants, I left my job in 2014 after an autumn of releasing and letting go of all that was causing me turmoil and pain. Heading into my passion of being an herbalist, yoga teacher, and answering the call to helping others in the crossroads of their life through the modalities I have and continue to learn.
For the past three years, I have been gifted support from my family, friends, and most importantly the plants. I am so appreciative of the continued opportunities to serve my purpose offering herbal consultations, creating wild crafted herbal medicines, teaching and learning yoga under the Dharma lineage, releasing blockages from those who work with me, learning music, healing with many different plants, integration sessions of plant medicines, traveling creating community, and most importantly serving my home community of DC.
Today, with all that is going on in the world, I want to write to let you know that I love you! I am so appreciative to have this family to share my gratitude for the plants. I am finding so much solace in morning herbal teas, sacred meditations with plants, walks in the mountains, and the changing colors of autumn.
Autumn Metamorphosis
by: April Rameé
Leaves change and fall
Hearts break and split
People lose hope
As the weather turns from sunshine to rain
Those we love break down and die
With the autumn changes
Tears flow and memories of summer fade
The bittersweet beauty of autumn
Rings hard in the collective unconsciousness
Calling us to reflection
Cementing truths unbreakable
Impermanence rains supreme
Bow down to nature
For no matter where you are
Concrete jungle to remote landscapes
You are one with Mother Earth
Read full poem post from 2012 here
Bowing in gratitude,
April Rameé
Warrior of the Light & Founder of Antler Alchemy
by April Rameé | Sep 12, 2017 | Antler Alchemy, Mother Earth, Travel
In the after glow of Burning Man, Pedro and I are continuing our travels in a slow methodical way. We spent two days in Lake Tahoe in Kings Beach area, our favorite place of Tahoe and then discovered a sweet little town on the North Yuba River where we camped a couple miles north of right on the river. Allowing the constant movement of the water to cascade over our thoughts, replenish our bodies, and the connection with Gaia to fuel our soul. Days spent lazily on the river rocks slabbing and enjoying the juxtaposition of warmth of the sun and cold of the river.
How could anything be more enticing? All along the way the mountain asters sway in the breeze enticing me to the areas that we stayed. Aster has been my plant ally since it came to me in a dream in May. The essence of the plant has been working with me through my dreams and it is so wonderful to see it blooming, taste it, and create a flower essence of the plant while in the Rocky Mountain National Park. I feel it has connected me with my soul in a deeper way, created ease in work, and created a bridge between DC and where my travels take me.
Aster was used by Native American tribes to burn the flowers and leaves in Inipi (sweat lodge) Ceremonies, to revive the unconscious, to treat mental illness, nosebleeds, headaches, congestion, for smudging and as an additive to smoking blends. The dried blossoms were also snuffed for similar purposes, or the vapor inhaled as a steam. Aster tea was used to treat earache, relive gas pains, stomach aches & fevers. The flowers and the roots were both commonly used. An aromatic nervine in most cases preferred over valerian. “http://www.herbcraft.org/aster.html”
As a flower essence Aster is for those whose hard-working efforts create the feeling that they are isolated and that progress is small and difficult, this flower essence changes the feeling of pursuing a goal to feeling as if you are drawn to it. This is the essence of choice for performance anxieties. It seemed to me that the Aster awakened a core part of the spiritual identity, the ability to be true to oneself, and in turn to radiate that truth as a form of love and higher consciousness to others. The Aster seems to quicken the events happening in one’s life in the physical world while bridging to other spiritual dimensions. It is as though the seemingly disconnected threads of one’s life become more vibrant and reconnect to form a larger whole. “http://www.flowersociety.org/WishUponAster.htm”
Now we are in Mt. Shasta area sleeping on the mountain under the stars with the tent open. The large pines stand over top of us as silent giants in the sunset. There is not much to say other than I am so blessed to be on the road, dipping into the creative part of my soul, connecting with plants, my partner, and my true soul.
As I lay here I am unable to go to sleep and this message comes to me. One that I have always had before, but been afraid to share. I think it comes from the mtn. and aster…
I think oh this would be a good blog post but something stops me. Why share? So I wonder sometimes what is the point of sharing in this “ego driven” minefields of personal opinions. Then I wonder where that negativity and judging comes from. Those who want to put down the age we are in? Am I trying to be a guru or famous? No. I am sharing opinions because at some point in life I wanted to be a writer. Or all the encouragement from others to write a novel about my life is kicking in. Or I am up late pontificating about life with no one to direct my thoughts to. What better way than to share in the current moment? Most importantly it is a challenge for myself to step out of my comfort zone and be intimate with the world around me and engage in the current paradigm. Hopefully, to add a field of mines that explode joy and a glimmer of truth that you are supported. FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS for that is a true challenge and hard work. They come easy but not as you expect easy and light to appear. It comes with dedication and hard work but not the hard work that makes you cringe like being at the job you despise. The type of hard work that is grimy, dirty, and full of wonderment so when you look back and you can say “wow i did that somehow!!” That is the moment you realize the impossible happened with ease and grace. When you realize only the divine could have stepped in and became your tool within the trenches of determination for a dream to be realized. That is when others ask you how did you do it and you can only respond with joy, wonderment, and encouragement for them to follow their dream. For life is a path, we all walk it, sometimes alone, sometimes in joy, many times in challenges, but we can choose which road we want to experience the hardships of life…one towards your dream, or lost in the abyss so easily fed to you at this time. The choice is yours. Both are hard and both are easy. But you have heard this all before…SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
Dreaming with Aster,
April Rameé
Warrior of the Light & Founder of Antler Alchemy
by April Rameé | Aug 28, 2017 | Antler Alchemy, Mystical, Travel
Last time I wrote, I was off to travel through Upstate NY to complete vision quest and see my family. The journey was very difficult and amazing at the same time. The second year of vision quest, no eating or drinking water for four days, was a challenge. I felt my body burning away old thoughts, karmas, and emotions physically. There was no sense of comfort as my pain overtook every inch of my body, a complete 180 degrees from the previous year where it was so easy. Each year is a different gate of the four directions and an element following the healing of the medicine wheel. The first year is East or air, second year is South or Fire, third year is west or water, and the fourth year is North or earth.
Fire represents purification for the body, spirit, and soul. I felt this purification as my body, spirit, and emotions were greatly challenged. However, the vision delivered itself in the early evening before the last day. I am not able to discuss the vision, as it is important to hold this information close to ones heart and soul to honor the sacred creative process.
I returned home and got to work immediately on the next adventure….SOLAR ECLIPSE AND BURNING MAN!As with most things in life, I thought it would take me way less time than it really did, causing me to not write for more than a month! However, I am back! Here to continue to prove to myself that I have all the tools to travel, work, and stay connected in a good way.
The adventure begins at 12:30am on August 21, 2017! We drive non-stop, taking turns sleeping and driving as we head towards Kentucky. The plan is Hopkinsville for the full solar eclipse, which there is 2min and 40seconds of darkness. As spirit would have it though we ended up in Bowling Green, KY with no solar eclipse glasses but a kind stranger gave us two pairs and we were in the most beautiful park, crystals laid out and the purification of the solar eclipse begins. I have never in my life seen such a beautiful site! Pedro took amazing photos of the total solar eclipse. I can’t help but draw the correlation between the fire sit of vision quest, the total solar eclipse, and my 33rd year all as a way of purifying my spirit for the next part of my life where the visions are guiding my work.
Purified by the Sun,
April Rameé
Warrior of the Light & Founder of Antler Alchemy
