Sweat of Benevolence

Sweat of Benevolence

[pullquote position=”center”]”Be still and let the higher energies infuse and reorganize you with the supreme benevolence of galactic consciousness. “[/pullquote]

Art by: Aaron Paquette

Art by: Aaron Paquette

Driving into the beautiful woods of Pennsylvania with my dear friends Lina and Elan, we make our way to Birdsong. Here we share our time together to sweat in ceremony. I think of my two dear friends as support for my journey into my soul. What a beautiful life I live to spend great time with two beautiful souls in prayer and union with the earth. Gladly surrendering my thoughts, ego, and expectations we walk into the womb. Giving my blessings and prayers to each of the four directions.

 

EAST –diversity & union [mental]

SOUTH – polarity [emotions]

WEST – healing ancestry [transformation]

NORTH – spirit [vision]

Each round represents a direction starting with the east. As each person chimes in their public, personalized prayer, which in most cases can be personal for anyone and for everyone, we respond in ‘Aho and the water touches the grandfathers and grandmother stones. Listening to the crackle and hiss of the water quickly turning into steam, penetrating into the womb creating a warmth more sacred than your run of the mill sauna. I quickly feel the steam touch my forehead and trickle down my body. Each part of my body hair starting to stick to my sweet skin. The first round went very quickly for me, the heat not effecting me too much. Each time I cross my legs I feel the coolness of the day on my body and providing comfort in the intensifying heat.

 

After each round the door to the womb opens to let in some of the outdoor air and more sacred rocks from the fire into  the pile. Burning another sacred herb on the rocks. The herbs setting a blaze from the heat of the stones, bringing in a new scent. Tickling the nose hairs and penetrating my lungs making me feel calm and at peace. Lavender and cedar being my favorite scents out of the four.

 

During the third round the intensity of the heat began taking effect on everyone. Some people laid on the ground, but putting a towel over my head and lowering my head in between my legs gave respite. After the third round we were surprisingly let out of the womb. I definitely felt the heat and relished in the short stay outside. The sun was shining bright and the feeling of lightness hugs my spirit. No one really spoke. Drinking water and laying on the grass, the same grass that was too cold to step on barefoot before I began, felt like heaven. Relaxing, surrendering to the ground for a short moment and straight back into the womb. I didn’t stay out too long and let the cold have at my body again because I love the heat.

 

The final round all the remaining ancestor rocks are brought into the center as sweet cedar  burned. Every one piled back into the womb and the water started hissing against the stones creating an intense steam. This round is open for all prayers together, some out loud and others silently. I didn’t really pray, as I spoke my prayers during the east and the west directions. I listened to others speak, one word from one person adding to the word of another, each creating a collective prayer in my mind. I sat in silence, no thoughts, listening, allowing the prayers to course through my veins. The water was non- stop, just hiss, hiss, hiss. The steam hit my head and my teeth and a deep chill went through my body. This chill of a collective prayer, my teeth being so sensitive to the heat that my bones started to chill and then warm up again. I never felt so cold in my life while being hot. I realize that this deep coldness is within my body and for the first time I feel the outside layer of my bones warm up, the bone marrow become warmer. This must be pure warmth from the inside out.  Pure elation and flying high from the collective prayer and heat the round ends and I give my respect to the fire. As the womb opens up and every one empties out, I stay. I don’t want to leave. I want to sweat and sweat and sweat until the warmth hit the inner core of my bones.

 

I finally left the womb, bowing respect to the fire and respect to the earth for allowing me the opportunity to lay on this land and feel the warmth that Earth gives each and every one of us every day of our lives. Walking into the sun I experience bright light and lay on the grass feeling the breeze come over each follicle of hair. Caressing my body into a sweet deep meditation.  Feeling the heat escape, but never really. The heat this day reached my soul. I feel a deep connection to my ancestors and vow that my search is not over. My search to understand the native american spirit that drives me to live my life in pure love and compassion. This connection to the earth I felt from the day I was born and pushed out my mothers womb. Today I feel what it may felt like to leave a womb of warmth and protection into the beautiful protection of the earth. We are never left alone, the earth cradles us like an eternal mother giving hopes, sacrifices,  and unconditional love to her beautiful children. Cherish the earth, cherish this mother, cherish your spirit and soul for this shows the mother that you respect the gifts bestowed upon each and every one of us.

 

In my reflection, I notice that every time someone prays I relate, or feel a tightness in my throat. Why does this happen to me? I left this experience noticing any time I feel any emotion it goes straight to my throat. My throat closes as if to stop the tears or the breath from escaping although more times than not, the tears still flow freely. Almost like my emotions are held in the heart and are aching to be released through the voice. What do I say? How do I release this energy? I am thinking this is a journey for me to embark upon. I can’t help but think about what my sound healing instructor said about our crystal bowls. Each chakra bowl contains the potential to sing but not at your hand. At the time I learned my sound healing lessons, I was unable to make the throat chakra bowls sing. The heart chakra on the other hand chose to sing for me so beautifully it choose me. I learned how to sing and tune my voice to this beautiful bowl and it broke on January 1st. My heart was aching and broke internally and metaphorically.  Part of me hopes that this time when I get a new bowl it will be the the throat chakra. I want to learn the lesson of how to open my throat and let out the emotion with words, not only through writing but through the voice. I am ready to sing! I am ready to be heard. I am ready for the love, emotions, and pure energy I feel in my heart to be voice into the world. I am ready for the collective prayers to be bestowed on the world.

 

In pure energy, love, light, compassion, and deep grattitude to Mother Earth I bow.

 

April

Deer Tales

Deer Tales

 

deer

 

A Story of Animal Spirits

 

A Deer is an animal of love, tenderness, and swiftness. There is an old story about the animal kingdom wanting to get into heaven to see the Almighty God. At a council meeting all the animals stood up to tell why they would be the most appropriate one to get to the kingdom of God. The Bear stood up and said, “I, Bear, who is the strongest bravest creature will go to see the Creator.” Upon the road to the Creator stood a big, nasty, monster. The bear took one look and ran back to the animal kingdom to tell of the nasty, monster. The Eagle Screeched, “I will fly over the monster to get to see the Creator.” Off went the eagle. He flew higher and higher and got closer to the kingdom of the Creator than any other animal before. He started to screech a prayer. “Almighty Great Creator, I so would like to see You.” The Almighty Creator said, “It is true you are the best at reaching high enough to talk to me, but a messenger is all you will be. Tell the rest of the animals that they have to go through the red road of truth to find me.” The eagle said to The Almighty Creator,” But there is a monster in the way, how can we cross? The Almighty said no further. The eagle went back and told all the animals of what the Almighty had said to him and all the animals started to fight and argue. The Deer hearing such a roar jumped so high he landed right in front of the nasty monster. The deer looked into the eyes of the monster and stared. The monster looked deep into the deer’s eyes and saw love, warmth and tenderness and upon seeing that the monster melted away. And so the deer was the first to go through the red road of truth to see the Almighty.

(http://www.phoenixarises.com/spirits/index.html)

 

 

 

Lately deer have been showing up to me all over the place. I noticed this trend in July because on my way home from PEX Summer Festival I drove by not one but three deer at different times in the whole trip. The number three holds a special significance for me and I take notice when events/synchronicities happen in threes, especially in one day. The most amazing part about this was I already knew subconsciously that I was coming upon a deer without seeing it and started to slow down when I was driving. It was almost as if I could sense they were there. Low and behold I would go cautiously through a part of the road and there would be a deer. I am sure if you have seen a deer you know the way their eyes reflect that silver, black, deep mystic understanding of something much more. I am always in awe of their beauty, grace, and just ability to be able to stare straight into my soul. The following week when driving around my home I noticed another deer deep within the brush gracefully just enjoying their night eating staring at me when I pass as if looking deep into my eye it can tell my constitution, if I am a threat, or if they can continue on  peacefully with their activity. The culmination of these deer sightings that solidified they are of importance in my life occurred one foggy, beautiful, bright sun shining morning. I take the train to DC every morning to get to my job. The sun at this time in nature is rising just before I get to the train station. There is this amazing marsh like small ecosystem with a pond/lake, frogs, marsh grass, and tons of pelicans or other birds diving into the shallow waters for morning treats right across the train tracks from the platform I stand upon. Each morning while I am standing waiting for the train I give a moment of notice to the rising sun in the east and then look north at the marsh, grounding deep within the soles of my feet I practice perfecting  tadasana (mountain pose). This morning I noticed the deep green brush move and out from behind a mother deer followed by her fawn gracefully take one step after another surveying the land. I stand in tadasana giving respect to Pachamama for providing another beautiful morning and stare at the deer. The mother deer stares back at me and acknowledges my existence. At the same moment we both here the faint high pitched screech of the train coming across the train tracks about half a mile away, knowing I only have a couple more minutes to see the deer, I bow with respect and they disappear ever so swiftly into the bushes. THAT’S IT! In this moment I realize this is an animal that has been talking to me all my life. I start to run through all the memories I have had of deer throughout my life. The treks up mountain sides with my father when I was younger where I got so close to a deer I could reach out and touch it if I dared, all the times I have sensed deer on the side of the road before they were there, that ill-fitting night when that deer stared at me across the road and jumped in front of my car committing what I believe to be suicide at this point in my life where I committed social suicide of my old social habits culminating in this 4 year journey of discovery. A journey that is not over but has reached a point of where I met all the goals I set out to accomplish at that time.

 

I spoke to an elder that I value and trust Keeper of Stories about my new found understanding of deer and the relation they have in my life. I feel as though they are guiding me and there is something about their essence that I am supposed to remember and realize that is part of me. Keeper of Stories spoke to me of their importance in the Native American culture and how they are swift, beautiful, loving, grasp all their surroundings, and know when they are going to die. All these qualities I feel express part of who I am. I am finally waking up and listening to your voice, thank you deer for all that you have been showing me and now that I hear you I am feeling more secure and sure in my footing.

 

Here is a list of Deer Wisdom from http://www.animalspirits.com/index5.html:

 

Deer/Hart’s Wisdom Includes:

·         Gentleness in word, thought, and touch

·         Ability to listen

·         Grace and appreciation for the beauty of balance

·         Understanding of what’s necessary for survival

·         Power of gratitude and giving

·         Ability to sacrifice for the higher good

·         Connection to the woodland goddess

·         Alternative paths to a goal

 

 

Leaping gracefully into each challenge with love,

 

April

Sunrise at the Train Photo by: April Rameé

Sunrise at the Train Photo by: April Rameé

 

Today is:

 Kin080

Magnetic Moon Dali 22

Kin 80 Yellow Lunar Sun

I Polarize in order to Enlighten

Stabilizing Life

I seal the Matrix of Universal Fire

With the Lunar tone of Challenge.

I am guided by the power of Free Will.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Did You Learn About Yourself Today?

What Did You Learn About Yourself Today?

What did I learn about myself today?
I randomly asked myself this evening after a day full of precarious emotions. I notice that I am impervious to the changes of my emotion. I wonder if I really change that often or am I just so aware of the slightest change that I live in dualities. Chalk it up to being observant. I wander around a significant amount of the time observing and taking in the abundance of life swirling around my body. I look wide-eyed and mystified at the world above, below, and around creating enchanting thoughts and beautiful day dreams.

I live for the daydreams.

I live within the daydreams.

I am the daydream.

Times of fancy and whimsy, dancing and turning. The world buzzing by in colors melted reminding me of crayons blending in the oven creating a mega-crayon full of possibility. The promise of a creation that creates a rainbow smiling in the sun. Upside down rainbows. “Nothing like being upside down to help you feel right side up,” I always say.
I learned today whimsy and joy creates my attachment. What is yours?