Travel | Herbal Warrior of the Light

Ayahuasca – A Ten Day Journey Pt. 1

by April Rameé | Apr 23, 2015 | Plants, Travel

Star Date: Kin 199 Blue Self-Existing Storm

Sunday, February 1, 2015

“This journey is not for the faint of heart. This journey is for those who are ready to see their true self, are ready to put into practice how they want to live, and are ready to remove the veil of the false ideals of living in the modern world. This journey is not to be taken lightly.” ~Excerpt from Journal

Waking from my slumber, if you want to call it that, deep in the jungles of Tarapoto I look around blind without glasses or contacts and see just the white of the mosquito net, the rain is falling and I stay in the covers because around me EVERYTHING is wet. Last night I sat in the first ceremony of the 10 day journey in the jungle to drink ayahuasca, no food, ONLY water, no talking, and no eye contact, not that it matters because my hut is down 30 mud stairs carved into the earth off alone from the pack. This hut that has no walls, a roof to shield from the rain (PARTIALLY!), a bed with a mosquito net, a hammock I cannot use because of all the mosquitos, and did I mention a bed?

I am starting to feel hungry, but part of me really does not want any food because I want the cleanse, to feel unhindered by food. The water is fresh, but is not clear, and with all the beautiful minerals of Earth the taste is intense, so I find it hard to drink. A part of me is scared shitless of this journey, but this is what I want. I want to be in the jungle, alone with my thoughts, alone with the plants, animals, feel the wetness of the earth, an experience seven years ago ayahuasca called my psychically to embark upon.

I feel the ayahuasca still vibrating through my veins and I still am having a hard time realizing that I am finally here. That all her previous work through meditations, visits through other plants, and changes in my life brought me to this moment. I can feel the cleanse. My first experience a couple of weeks ago was more of a rebirth, a journey through my actual growth in my mother’s womb, permission from her to continue to work with the plants, visions and ideas on how I am to engage, share, and teach the world how to heal the earth, and most importantly a welcome home party of sorts. A reunion with my soul, her soul, and a sweet enduring reminder that there is never a time I am apart from earth.

Last night aya spent time cleaning all the personal attachments to others and my identity. Cradling me sweetly in her arms as the medicine flows creating ecstatic undulations, raising kundalini through the sushumna nadi guiding me into blissful purging. Blissful purging you ask? Yes! I am happy to release the old, usher in the new, and allow my true nature time and fertile land to grow.

Star Date: Kin 200 Yellow Overtone Sun

Monday, February 2, 2015

“For the first time in my life, I am coming almost fully healthy to a relationship, so there is bound to be bumps with the people I meet because I am learning, I am getting better.” ~Excerpt from Journal

Integration, this is the word of the day. Immersed in this experience I write in my journal the history of relationships with men. I attempt to make a timeline of sorts of the past 13 years. Starting from my first real kiss as a senior in high school with the first boy I chose to love and moving into the long list of traumatic moments in relation. Why so many traumatic experiences?! Should I share? I feel vulnerable in this post but, this timeline is more of a way to understand where I went in my psyche after being raped so shortly after my first real, awakening relationship. I notice in the timeline how my drinking increases with each relation until a culmination of pain finally leads me to the last straw in 2010. I notice how the past wells up in tears overflowing onto the paper, realizing I spent so much time pushing the pain away and doing a major disservice to myself. I do not blame any of the men, I do not blame myself, I only acknowledge and understand how I spent so much time in fear. I can tell this is more of the cleanse from the ceremony two days ago. I no longer feel a connection to the past pain, I feel resolute and joy. It is one thing to mentally believe in my power and another to feel the release and step into the power within my body, which in itself alone is scary. I write an affirmation to remind myself the purpose of this work,

“I release myself from the pain, the hurt, physical abuse, and the physical manifestation of the abuse in my body. I let go of the pain of being raped and reclaim my soul back, my sexuality, my beauty. No longer do I dumb down or push away what I deserve due to fear that is untrue. I am beautiful, I am sexy, I am love, my body is whole, my world is abundant, and I am worth being held, cared for, loved, and celebrated. I am worth a man who wants every part of me, just the way I am.” ~Excerpt from Journal

Star Date: Kin 201 Red Rhythmic Dragon

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

“I do not know what time it is although I see the sun create shadows. Hours turn into days but I make it up the hill to complete a full standing yoga practice. I only drank three cups of water in the past three days, the yoga practice creates a thirst, thank God! My dreams are intense, the land is shaking my existence, my vision returns slowly and my nails look strong and shiny.UPGRADE!” ~Excerpt from Journal

Star Date: Kin 202 White Resonant Wind

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

“Drinking ayahuasca alone is amazing! I miss the songs, but revel in the sounds of the jungle, the silence of human existence, and the deep journey in my physical body. Lesson: physical extractions of gunk.” ~Excerpt from Journal

I think I love drinking ayahuasca on my own because there is only my experience, no songs singing when I long for silence and no one else around but my main lover Pachamama. Last night and into this morning her and I speak sweet words of intention and understanding as she tells me she is going to clean any residual gunk in the lower chakras, heart, and throat chakra. This manifests as a snake inside my body, starting around the womb I see the snake devour black matter, growing in size. The snake moves up the spine, eating black matter all the way up to the heart. The snake spends significant amount of time around the heart and I am in a trance of sorts, there are no other visions, and my mind is clear. I lay in the hut aka bed alone, listening to the sounds of the jungle as the snake moves into the throat chakra. Breaking down black matter, releasing fear of speaking, sharing truths, and writing for others to read my life experiences. I am nauseas and want it to end because I do not know how much more opening and healing I can take at the moment. It is quite overwhelming and aya says to me in her sweet but firm voice, “we can finish this now or I can come back later, it’s your choice.” I battle back in forth between, “let’s end it” and “no wait! let’s finish it so we don’t have to come back.” Ultimately, I chose to end it because there is so much! My body is undulating and vibrating at such a high frequency I do not even know how to contain myself. I reach these points with her where I can feel the full kundalini experience and I think I understand what it means when I read in books about the full meditation experience. I think there is more personal practice without the aid of plants I want to embark upon before staying a long time with her in this state that maybe resembles samadhi. I get the sense that in my personal journey she is just opening the door slightly for me to put my toe into as I use the breeze of her kisses to enhance personal life practice of meditation and discovery.

Star Date: Kin 203 Blue Galactic Night

Thursday, February 5, 2015

“I AM HUNGRY! I can’t stop thinking about all the vegetarian sushi I am going to make when I get back to the states. That is all.” ~Excerpt from Journal

Star Date: Kin 204 Yellow Star Seed

Friday, February 6, 2015

“New creation: a complete in bed yoga class. Maybe I can return to the states and teach in bed. HA! Although I get up and do a full practice, there is so much time left that I find myself stretching in bed the whole time. I also can sit in meditation for much longer now, I don’t know the amount of time because I am not looking at a watch, phone, or anything other than the jungle dense forest around me. This is life. This is my choice. Integration. More things than I can even explain in words. Images that only if I could draw others could see and understand.” ~Excerpt from Journal

Star Date: Kin 206 White Spectral World-Bridger

Sunday, February 8, 2015

“I see. I understand. I know why I am here.”~Excerpt from Journal

I sit and ask aya to show me some of my past lives or maybe the reason why I am here if there is no such thing as past lives. She shows me the first incarnation of who I am. How I came to be and this is beyond magical. There is no way to share in words this experience. I leave this journey as an open invitation for you to ask her yourself one day.

In conclusion, life is one lesson of self-discovery. Do you need ayahuasca to discover who you are? A jungle experience? No! This is the work I do all the time no matter where I am in the world. Is working with the plant amazing? YES! As a lover of plants, most times when there is a chance to learn and experience a new plant, I am very much into the process. I am also a believer that you can work with a plant without ever ingesting or touching the plant, but that is for another post another time. Is this the end? No! There is so much more to say but for now…INTEGRATION.

Pucallpa to Tarapoto

by April Rameé | Jan 23, 2015 | Travel

No one really warned me or told me that Peru is pretty much all mountains. The sacred valley reminds me of the mountains of the west coast and the peaks and valleys of the rainforest remind me of the east coast. I mean in reality the country is so large of course it’s not mountains everywhere but existence is in the valleys and now I understand how deforestation of the rainforest appears.

On this journey between Pucallpa to Tarapoto we ride up north through the rainforest so obviously I get a higher viewpoint of the rainforest rather than the river boat level experience of following the river north to Iquitos. I think next time I come I would like to spend some time on the river but this time Tarapoto is the destination. I am happy about this as I heard going to Iquitos is a sacred war hell. Good and evil duking it out for the resources of the divine rainforest. No thank you! That is not my journey this time. I much rather just go 20+ hours up the river from Pucallpa and enjoy the lower region of the rainforest some more. People are quite humble there and I didn’t feel as though my energy had to be guarded from advances to join such and such “shaman” on an experience I could pay thousands to drink their sacred brew. I also heard in Iquitos you have the corporations and other poachers there to get into the rainforest and a black market…ok I would go just to see what the fuck people have at that market, just to say I’ve seen it but knowing me it would hurt my heart and I much rather have a better grip on my Spanish. Anyway I digress…

The rainforest here reminds me so much of the East Coast of America. Lush green hills with large jungle trees, vines, and a plethora of plant flora. Everything is in a fresh late spring wet bloom of glory. The drops between the moutain stone into the road create miniature waterfalls that flow into the road and off the other side of the mountain into the expansive lower region of the hill and off into the great river. This reminds me so much of the little waterfalls in the hills of Vermont in late spring. The clouds loom into the valleys as the hills peak out for as far as the eye can see.

Parts were lush and so diverse and then the other parts of this journey show how deforestation and farming killed off the diverse flora. Just like in the states, they plow down what exists in the valley and put farms, grass, animals herding. A vast difference from those who lived in the rainforest and had their horse tied to the front door. I do not think one is better than the other just an observation.

5 more hours until we arrive at our destination. With 15hrs under my belt I am getting good at kirtan because I keep playing the same playlist over and over again.

City Discoveries

by April Rameé | Dec 14, 2014 | Travel, Warrior

The cold comes in and lingers, days turn into weeks and the cold only gains in momentum. For days, that I add up to weeks, the wind chimes outside my home have yet to stop moving and creating a cacophony of melodious sounds. The sound is beautiful, although I wonder when it will all stop. Days of observations of the psyche, environment, body, and soul continue without respite. Each day a new emotion or a new aha moment of understanding.

The world is upset about politics, the way we are governed, and the outcome of the world. Solutions seem hard to come by as blame and fingers point to those who are “responsible.” As I look out on the metro and notice how new homes/apartments are supposedly improvements or better than ghetto living with the poor. I just don’t see it. I see the buildings as prisons. Humans stacked on top of humans, boxes to live and die in, creating funeral homes of people losing their souls and purpose for living. This idea of being “safe” in a building made of materials that could easily blow away, cause more waste, and perpetuate an industry of illusion. The same one so many are trying to break free from. I look at these old beautiful buildings and don’t understand why people want to destroy the old as a quick fix and erect something new, when there are so many beautiful buildings, sturdy, full of space that can accommodate the human existence. I see the future of your new buildings in the present condition of past buildings. New ghettos popping up everyday.

What will it take to see that using the same solutions that cause problems for most situations will be our downfall? When will we see that by refusing to confront, fix, and appreciate what we already have is the solution to most of the issues in the world? What will it take to show society that we are only as strong as our weakest link? Why can’t we lift each other up and scream for community? What are we really afraid of? Peace? Acceptance? Compassion? NO! We are afraid of the real work, time, and understanding it takes to come up with real long lasting compassionate solutions. We are afraid of the true reality::

THAT IF EVERYONE IS A GOD BEING THEN EVERYONE CAN BE A BEACON OF LIGHT AND TRUTH.

If everyone is that way, then how can you even be considered special or unique?

I have been to the West Coast and seen the beauty of nature, the mountains, hills, Redwoods, and Sequoias reach high into the sky. Take notice! On the East Coast we live in some of the oldest woods and forests. The same forests that nurtured the world for so long. Nature and herbal flora so diverse, just as diverse as the humans that live on the East. Every day we are in this nature, fully exposed yet we plow down the old forests full of fairies, magic, creatures, wilderness, and the most diverse herbal flora in the world to create concrete forest floors with concrete, recycled materials, and glass Redwoods, reaching high into the sky to house the most diverse cultures known to man in one location. Each step you take in this city is on the floor of Pachamama. Maybe on the East coast we forget because Nature doesn’t loom over us to make us feel small, but what is the sky? What are the plants? What are we? Aren’t we worth the chance to allow bio-diversity in all walks of life?

BE YOUR TRUTH. BE THE LIGHT. YOU ARE A BEACON. LIVE IN LOVE AND COMPASSION. THIS IS HOW WE CHANGE THE WORLD!

~April

Draft

by April Rameé | Feb 26, 2014 | Mystical, Poetry, Travel

Past life, this life, the lives.

Present is the past incarnated in the future.

Future is the present incarnated in the past.

Past is the future incarnated in the present.

Now. Then. When.

Karma ebbs and flows.

Move with the tide.

Synchronistic ride.

More than fate or destiny.

~April Rameé

This poem is inspired by the Goddess card I pulled this morning, Isis. Isis represents past lives according to the card deck. I find it interesting as I journey to NY to practice with Dharma Mittra to reflect upon my life. I think life is a great remembering of the past and who I am. There are moments along the path that I consider a great awakening to the true nature within myself. These past parts of who I was that create who I am. These future ideals that shape the present moment of what I choose and who I become.

This is a draft. I am sure there is more to add at a later date.